Chaotic Cousins
by Ahana and Hikari
Summary: Cartmen and Kenny's cousins are coming to town...chaos is bound to happen...  KylexOC DamienxOC Cussing
1. Chapter 1

Ahana and I own nothing but our ideas, the plot, and our OCs. Please review! =3

It was a rather busy day at one of Colorado's airports. Two girls were sharing a single bench while waiting for their escorts to pick them up.

The teenage girl on the right side of the bench had bluish-black, thin, straight hair that stopped at her waist. The bangs were platinum with neon green streaks. The top layer of her hair was short, teased and full of blonde streaks. Her bangs covered her right eye; which was a golden sepia color. She was wearing a black vest that stopped below her bust, a pink undershirt that was the same length as the vest, white skinny jeans, black Goth stilettos, and a neon green ribbon choker.

The girl on the left had golden blonde hair that had her hair in a half bun, the tail was braided and in a bun; her bangs brushed to one side. Her moss green eyes were a mix of boredom and anticipation. She was wearing a jean jacket; the hood was rimmed with faux fur, and oversized scarlet guys' shirt, purple skinny jeans, orange high tops, and on her head was a pair of orange sunglasses.

Both girls were listening to their own iPods. The blackette had a blue iPod with black DJ headphones. The blonde had a scarlet iPod and orange ear bud headphones.

The blonde sighed before standing and walking towards the luggage that had finally gotten off the plane. She grabbed the purple suit case and a scarlet messenger bag.

Just as she was going back to her seat, the blonde was tackled by a blonde teenage boy.

"Kenny!" the blonde girl squealed in surprise, "What the hell, dude?"

"Aw! C'mon, I love you! I'm not allowed to express that?" a boyish voice laughed.

"You're not allowed because the way you express your affection is awkward!"

"You know you like it, Logan." Kenny said in a matter-of-fact tone, as he let go of the blonde girl.

"Yeah, I love you lusting after my body you whorish boy!" Logan hissed playfully, smoothing out her clothes.

Logan looked at the blonde, her eyes widened slightly at seeing that she was staring at his chin and neck, she looked up slightly, "You bastard! How dare you grow taller than me!"

Kenny had the same golden hair as Logan and shaggy, but his eyes were sky blue. He wore an orange long sleeved hoodie with a rip on the on the upper left sleeve, under that was a purple fishnet shirt, black jeans, and scarlet converse.

Kenny grinned happily and grabbed Logan's suitcase, "C'mon, I had to borrow Stan's pick-up, I can't keep it all day, ya know!"

"You don't have a car?" Logan asked, walking beside Kenny.

"I have a Harley for the moment…" he commented, "But I'm wanting to upgrade to something faster."

When the couple walked by the bench, Logan saw the other girl walking towards the luggage drop-off with a brown haired middle-aged lady. Once the two had reached the truck, Kenny put Logan's luggage in the bed.

"Hey cousin, what do you want to do when we get to South Park?" Kenny asked as he started the truck.

"See the guys I guess." Logan murmured as she looked out the window, "Kick Cartmen's fatass, and tease him with Cheesy Poofs."

)(*()*)(*()*)(*()*)(

Back at the luggage drop-off, the black haired teen and middle-aged brunette were grabbing her neon blue suitcase and a couple black duffle bags.

"Alright, Croy-ia! Are you ready to go?"

"I suppose…" came the quiet, calm reply, "Let's go, Ms. Cartmen."

"Alrighty then!" Ms. Cartmen flitted out of the airport and toward her car, a blank-faced Croy-ia following closely behind.

When the black haired girl had put her in the trunk, she sat in passenger seat and took out a small baggy from her pocket; in it were many studs and hoops. As she sat there, she began to put the piercings back in place.

As Croy-ia finished, she had her eyes brows done three times, twice down the bridge of her nose, her ears, her lip, her bellybutton, and her hips.

Ms. Cartmen stared at Croy-ia before smiling at her, "My! Have a lot of piercings! Didn't all those hurt?"

"Not at all, Ms. Cartmen. It was rather pleasurable." Croy-ia answered quietly, before asking, "May I call you Auntie, Ms. Cartmen? Continually calling you Ms. Cartmen is slightly awkward…"

"Oh!" Ms. Cartmen gasped in surprise, but smiled widely, "Of course, dear! I would be delighted if you called me Auntie!"

"Okay, then…Auntie." Croy-ia murmured as she closed her eyes and turned on her iPod. Ms. Cartmen gave a small sigh and began her drive towards South Park.


	2. Chapter 2

As Kenny and Logan drove into town, Kenny drove to the trailer he lived in.

Logan hopped out and looked around, "What, no screaming parents to come and greet me?"

"Nah! They left a while ago." Kenny remarked as he hefted her bags out of the bed of the truck.

"Seriously? Wicked! Had any house parties, yet?" Logan questioned as she grabbed her messenger bag, and followed Kenny into the large trailer.

"You know it! Sexy ladies, hot guys; everyone dancing, drinking, sexing each other up! It's heaven!" the tall blonde sighed happily, a perverted look on his face.

"Whore." Came the curt reply as Logan walked past Kenny towards her old room.

"_What!_ I am not!" Kenny yelled indignantly. He stomped into her room and stopped dead at seeing her bent at the waist, her ass in the air.

As Logan stood up straight, she walked over to Kenny and looked down, "Whore…and for your own cousin, too." She looked up at him with a stern face, "And don't even think about masturbating in the house while I'm here!"

"Aw! C'mon! How am I supposed to take care of it then?" Kenny whined as he followed Logan into the kitchen.

"Well, _I _will if _you_ can't." Logan replied as she turned back around to face him, a butcher's knife in hand.

"I'm good!" Kenny squealed, grabbing his crotch and running back to his safe room.

Logan just grinned wickedly as she turned to face the counter and began to make herself lunch for the day.

B the time that Kenny gained the courage to leave his room, Logan was in the passenger side of the truck, waiting.

"What are you doing?" he questioned cautiously.

"Thought you had to return this to Stan?" Logan inquired in return, looking at Kenny in a slightly tired manner.

"Oh, yeah!" Kenny laughed as he hopped in, "Might as well go now, huh?"

"Yeah…why would Stan lend you his truck, though? You were more likely to have fucked somebody in the bed of it, rather than pick me up." Logan commented off-handedly, a small smirk on her face.

"If I had done that…you _and_ Stan would've ended up beating me to death." Kenny laughed lightly as he drove down the street.

"That reminds me," Logan breathed, "Do you still die and come back to life, like you did when we were kids?"

"Nah. Made a deal with Damion's dad. I'm kinda immortal now."

"Immortal?" Logan gave Kenny a questioning look.

"Nothing but Satan and God, maybe even Damion…?" Kenny paused and thought to himself for a minute before he continued, "Anyway, only beings with holy or unholy powers can kill me."

"…Dude…" she blinked, "What did you give to Satan, then? Your virginity?"

Kenny blushed lightly and kept his azure gaze on the road.

"Oh, Kenny! That's nasty!" Logan squealed as she punched his arm, "No wonder you're such a fuckin' whore!"

"Oi! Shut the fuck up!" Kenny snapped at Logan.

Logan stared at Kenny blankly and stayed quiet, her lips pouting slightly, "I was kidding, Kenneth. You don't have to be a bitch about it."

"Sorry…" Kenny murmur as he turned down Stan's street, "I-it's just…I…he-"

"I know," Logan hushed, patting his arm before leaping at him to pull him into a bear hug, squealing, "My cousin is a love-sick slut!"

"Hey! Don't do that!" Kenny screamed, blushing as he tried to keep the truck from swerving too much, "Do you want to die?"

"You'll save me!" she laughed before sitting back down in the passenger's seat as Kenny pulled into Stan's driveway.

Kenny silently shook his head, grinning slightly. Logan followed behind, looking around curiously.

"Uh…just so you know, Cartmen's a _bit_ different than when we were kids." Kenny stated, looking back at Logan.

"Ah…thanks for reminding me about Cartmen, Ken." She snarled wickedly, punching her fist into her open palm, "Can't _wait _to kick his fat ass!"

"Kick whose ass, you dyke?" came a sneering voice from behind the blondes.

"Cartme-" Logan had started out growling but interrupted herself when she had completely turned around.

"What? Shocked that I'm skinny now?" Cartmen taunted, a large smirk on his face.

The brunette had lost a lot of is childhood weight, but the baby fat around his face had yet to leave. His body structure was still bulky, though he had grown to be much taller. Cartmen had also let his hair grow to shoulder length shag, which was much like Kenny's but neater in fashion. Cartmen was wearing a red zip-up hoodie, a dark yellow undershirt, baggy jeans, and a pair of black converse.

"You may have lost weight, but you're still a fatass, Eric!" Logan jeered obnoxiously, smiling sweetly.

"You bitch!" Cartmen snarled before launching his large frame at Logan in a tackle.

"Lardass!" Logan shrieked as she pummeled Cartmen's face, shoulders, and anywhere else she could reach with tight fisted punches.

As Kenny stood and watched with glee, his body bouncing with energy, and he began to cheer, "Yeah! Go for the balls!" after Kenny's excited shout Kyle, followed by Stan, walked slowly towards the fight.

Kyle had tamed his jewfro, which was now shaggier but still held the poof and messiness of his childhood hair. He wore a green hooded jacket, a neon green undershirt with an orange frowning smiley face, dark stone-washed jeans, and timberlands.

Stan still had his black mop of hair, but he no longer wore his hat. He wore a navy blue long sleeved shirt with A.E. on the chest, baggy black jeans, and blue high tops.

"Cartmen…I told you she would still kick your fat ass!" Kyle chuckled, "It's good to have her back."

"I guess, dude…oh!" Stan cringed deeply, "She _did_ go for the balls!"

Logan stood laughing, tears had come to her eyes, and she held her sides tightly.

"You dyke!" Cartmen wheezed in a high pitched voice, "I'll get you far this!"

"Sure you will, Eric, sure you will." Logan cooed mockingly, patting Cartmen's head.

Cartmen glared at Logan from his hunched over position, "Get bent, dyke." He growled quietly.

Logan rolled her eyes and turned on her heels and walked towards Kenny. Beside Kenny were Kyle and Stan, who were both, grinning brightly at the blonde girl.

Stan rushed at Logan and pulled her into a tight bear hug, "How are you doing, Logan?"

"I'm cool, I'm cool." Logan laughed, hugging him back, "What've you been up to?"

"Eh, nothin' much. The WR for the South Park Cows." He replied, his tone somewhat proud.

"Not CB?"

"Nah…Fatass got that position."

"Seriously? No wonder he lost some of his fat." Logan exclaimed, crossing her arms over her chest as she glared over at Cartmen, who was talking on his phone.

"Gotta go home, Cartmen?" Kyle questioned monotonously, his face blank.

"And if I do ya fuckin' Jew?" Cartmen sneered.

"Shut it, Fatass! Just go home!" Kyle snarled, face reddening slightly.

"Ay! You wanna start somethin' Kahl?" Cartmen spat, his voice gaining the speech impediment that he had always spoken with as a child.

Logan laughed quietly, walking over to Kyle, she said, "C'mon, Kyle. Leave 'im alone. Bye, Eric"

All the guys stared at Logan like she had grown two extra heads. Logan just smiled and waved, "Tell your mom I said, 'Hi,'!"

"Fucking weirdo dyke…" Cartmen whispered to himself as he walked away.

"Man," Logan sighed, "Hearing that speech impediment always makes me happy." She laughed softly, while Kenny, Kyle, and Stan continued to stare at her like she was crazy.


End file.
